Tag Archive | funny

Toys “R” Us® Animal Alley

Animal Alley Plush Darby

Childhood Memories

Kids Preferred, Inc. is known for bringing products to the marketplace under its own brand and through private label programs such as “Animal Alley” for Toys “R” Us!

A short tale for parents looking for that special Animal Alley plush toy from Toys “R” Us! I hope it helps you find your child’s most favorite friend.

In March 2004, Evil and I took our son for his first childhood shots. An unhappy experience for everyone concerned. Of course the little Prince doesn’t remember anything about it, thankfully. But Mom and Dad sure do! So when your parents tell you “It hurt me more than you”, what they mean is, your folks keep that memory of fear and tears with them for the rest of their lives.

To celebrate his being a “big boy”, we took the little prince to our local Toys “R” Us®. We put him in the cart and started through the aisles. At some point we made our way down the stuffed animal aisle. Continue reading →

The 2013 Russian Meteor & Nascar

Feb16

Kids Are Funny:
Tiny Asteroid Commentary Through The Eyes Of A Kid

If you hadn’t heard, a large meteor streaked through the sky over Russia on February 15th, 2013. The fireball was seen above Russia’s Urals region Friday morning before it exploded with a flash and boom that shattered glass in buildings and left about 1,000 people hurt, authorities said.

From CNN: Described by NASA as a “tiny asteroid,” the meteor’s explosion created a blast in central Russia equivalent to 300,000 tons of TNT, the space agency’s officials said Friday, adding that the incident was a once-in-100-years event.

We watched the video on the news and of course there were many of those to see. When we heard people were injured, we of course were concerned and we hope everyone will be ok. By the end of the day, the big concern for serious injury was seemingly over, as reported by the news. Thank goodness.

More video had come in and of course we were watching those.

Our little Prince watches the news of the meteor coming down and says:
“Was Montoya visiting Russia?”

A true Nascar fan!

Olympic Humor

Aug4

Future Olympic Diver

2012 Summer Olympics – London

Opening ceremonies were made interesting by a little observation by the Prince. At 9 years old, most of the ceremony was boring to him. Finally he sees someone he knows, J.K. Rowling author of Harry Potter. Right after seeing her, the big finale….they finally light the Olympic torch. As soon as they do, the Prince says:

“Well, there’s no going back now.”

Which conjured an image for Daddy Evil of a fight to death in each Olympic sport. And the Queen envisions the Tri-Wizard Cup which creates a binding contract for all participants.

It seems the Queen’s vision was closer to what the Prince meant with his comment. There’s no way to quit, once the torch was lit!

Scratch One Career Option

Apr25

The Prince will never be suited for a life of crime. Here’s why:

When I’m away on business, the last thing the Prince does in the evening is read a chapter of his reading book. Currently that would be the Hank the Cowdog series by John Erickson. So one night a few weeks ago, it’s reading time and I ask him what chapter we’re reading. He tells me that it’s chapter 5 and I tell him no, it’s got to be chapter 6 because we already read the part at the end of chapter 5.

To this he replies, “Are you sure? I thought I read that when I was sneaking in the closet last night.”

I said, “What?”

“Oh… um… nothing, never mind.”

E.W.

My son sneaks out of bed to read. Guess that explains the 12th grade reading level.

This Is Your Brain On Stupid — #5

Mar30

The Wheel Barrel Incident

Um..Momma..I went into the backyard and recognized that the wheel barrel was filled with water and I put dirt in it, so it was muddy water. And I tried to pour it out…and…I poured it out into the lake…and..the wheel barrel went with it! Now I can’t get out!

Yep..the man child does it again…

This Is Your Brain On Stupid – #4

Feb24

The Shirt Incident

Big news from the 3rd grade child who got straight A’s, Made the Principles list, Reads on a 12th grade level…..tied the arm sleeves of his shirt together, yes while he was still wearing it and couldn’t get them untied!

The WHOLE class knew what he had done…including the teacher. Who for some reason was upset with the antics. Can’t imagine why.

But thanks to Iverson (a fellow student), the boy child was freed and replaced his arms back in the sleeves where they belonged.

Alive and well, ready to tell Momma “I did something stupid today”.

Mozzarella Firefox

Nov29

A few nights ago the Prince and I are sitting on the couch. He’s playing with his laptop (yes he has his own laptop) and he’s getting frustrated. Finally he says:

“Momma my Mozzarella isn’t working!”

Say what? I replied trying to figure out what in the world he’s talking about.

“My Mozzarella! I can’t get to my starwars game!”

I look at his laptop and what he’s talking about is Mozilla’s Firefox. I tell him – Honey it’s Mozilla, there’s no R in it; it’s not a piece of cheese.

To which he replies – “Why not, you use a mouse to get to it!”

The End is Near..Ok..

Nov29

We are watching the movie “2012”..don’t ask me why. There is a scene where the Pope and his Bishops are on their knees in the Vatican praying as the world is coming to an end. Now I won’t go into the movie implying this gathering is inside Vatican City in Saint Peter’s Basilica and under the dome; with no sign of the altar with Bernini’s baldacchino (the black columned altar); and I won’t point out that these men of faith look up to see Michelangelo’s painting of God touching Adam’s finger which is actually in a totally different building know as the Sistine Chapel….But I digress.

The dome above the Pontiff & his Bishop’s starts to crack, right between the fingers of God and Adam.
As the ceiling begins to fall, our little Prince says:
“Well I guess they can stop praying now”.

Kid Thinking Out of the Balloon

Sep11

Last night as the family was going to bed we were doing our usual impression of The Waltons, “Good night kid, good night Momma, Good night Daddy…” We heard the one of the cats getting into the toilet paper in the bathroom. I put the kibosh on that and went back to bed. I said, “We need some balloons so we can keep them out of the toilet paper and other various things they should avoid getting into.”

After a minute or so, which I suppose was how long it took the kid’s mind roll this around, the kid said, “That would be cool, if we hung the toilet paper from the balloon then they wouldn’t be able to reach it.”

Suddenly we’re cracking up because I started imagining all kinds of things hanging from helium balloons. I’m guessing the kid still doesn’t know how balloons really work to keep cats out of things.

E.W.

And I know some of you out there don’t know either. If you put a balloon in front of something you don’t want the cat to bother, when they swipe at it or try to climb it, it explodes. Most cats avoid those places afterwards.

This Is Your Brain On Stupid – #3

Jan26

The Shoe Incident

Um Momma…I have something to tell you…

Today at breakfast (at school no less), I was playing with my shoe and I put my finger in it like this…and then I couldn’t get it out.

Momma…starts giggling.

I started crying and yelling for help. Some of the teachers came to help and NO one could get my finger out!

Momma…starts laughing.

Finally one of the teachers said let’s take the shoe off and see if we can cut it out of there. I was really scared they were going to cut my finger off.

Momma is now laughing hysterically.

When they got it off something happened and my finger ust came loose. I was so scared they were going to have to cut my finger off to get the shoe off!

Momma can no longer breath!