Tag Archive | bard

More Adventures in Stupid

Jun5

A couple evenings back, we all went out and sat on the porch. Rascal, our Dalmatian puppy was playing on her lead with the Prince down in the yard. Suddenly the Prince is very excited because he’s discovered a frog. A Fowler’s toad to be exact. If you’re living in the south and you’re male, this is the frog you’ve played with a thousand times.

Well, when the Prince discovered it, so did the mutt. And she did what she’s done with voles, mice, birds and even bats. She ran over and bit it. Now I didn’t know this, but it turns out that those toads are poisonous. It was pretty obvious from the reaction of the dog. She spent a minute or so looking like she was trying to spit out her own tongue.

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So we ran out there, got her in the house and the Queen washed her mouth out. Then we did some research. Now I’ve seen a smaller dog bite a poison arrow frog in Florida and live. Of course about six hours of that living wasn’t all that pleasant. but he did live. So I wasn’t too worried about a frog I didn’t even realize had poison. Bottom line, as long as she didn’t eat a couple of them whole, she was in no danger.

Now the really bad part is that it was close to the Prince’s birthday and one of the things he got were little glow stick swords. So right after the dog’s first ever psychedelic trip began, we turned off the lights and started waving around glowing colored sticks. After she got done watching the glowing colors, we turned the lights on and she spent some quality time staring at a white wall. I guess that’s the equivalent of standing still on firm ground after riding one of those whirly rides as the fair.

E.W.

We’re starting a pool on how many more of them she has to bite before she figures out not to bite them. I’ve got three…

© 2012 Evil Wordsmith. Evilwordsmith.com. All Rights Reserved.

96 Points in the Game on the Wall, 96 Points in the Game…

Jan10

Picture an airport bar, somewhere halfway between Green Bay, Wisconsin and Phoenix, Arizona…

A bunch of large surly looking men, half which are in red pajamas and half in green, are sitting at the bar, watching a football game having a few beers.  One of them in red shouts, “GEEZ, he scored again!”

His buddy in green replies, “I bet I could have stopped that…”

Red says, “Ever get that feeling you’re forgetting something but you can’t remember what it was?”

“Yeah, I’ve had that feeling all day, seems like I was supposed to be going somewhere.” Green says.

“And you know that feeling is never wrong…”

“Another touchdown… good thing we aren’t drinking to the scores.”

E.W.

In walks a bunch of irritated guys in darker green jammies, “… no flights to Dallas at all till next Fall…” one of them mutters.

2009 Vote

Nov3

Here in Virginia they’re making a big deal about our Gubernatorial election. I’ve heard several times today from News prognosticators that the Virginia election will be a referendum on Pres. Obama’s popularity and his policies. I don’t think so Virginians are that shallow. And I find the comment some what insulting.

I’ve lived in Virginia for most of my life. We moved here when I was 3. While the state has been some what conservative and republican for a majority of it’s history. It’s also an intelligent and contemporary place as well. We can give credit for that to Northern Virginia and the influx of people from around the world who come there to work in and around Washington DC. But don’t discount the high education and engaging people around our Universities as well. Virginia Tech, Univ. of Va, George Mason and James Madison are all highly respected colleges that turn out some very smart people who can actually thing for themselves.

We have the ability to look at issues affecting our state separate from those affecting a Presidential or national stage. We understand the affect of decisions in DC upon our State. But we also take accountability for our own government and how it approaches the real problems that all Virginians face around the state.

So to those prognosticators I say, shut up and sit down. Your 10 minutes are up. Not everything that happens in politics is based on the popularity of someone, or the popularity of their policies. Virginians are smart, educated and quite capable of deciding our elections based on issues and not on the popularity of which parties lapel pin you’re wearing.