Men are from Mars and We Really Don’t Know Where Women Are From

We apparently are born that way too.  A couple days ago I witnessed something bizarre and enlightening.  Last year, the Prince was in kindergarten where he met a cute little princess named Abbie.  He clearly really liked her, she was the first person who’s name he could remember after school.  I met the Princess during Daddy Doughnut Day, when I got to sit in on the class during the morning.  The adjectives “firey Irish redhead” just come to you when you meet her.

When it was time to go, the kids all lined up to go to PE, and the Princess and Prince lined up next to each other.  I was watching them and for a moment I thought they were going to kiss, which was freaky enough, but instead they touched noses.  I also noticed that the Prince’s affinity for girls hasn’t faded.  There were several other girls lined up to get close to him as well.

A little later in the school year the Prince decided he didn’t like Abbie, which didn’t mean that he didn’t like her, he just would rather play with the other boys like all boys do.  I suspect this is some sort of instinctive survival method.  The Princess on the other hand still liked him, which was obvious when we had lunch at the school on his birthday.  She pushed another kid down the bench so she could sit beside me and proceed to give me the entire story of the Prince at school as she saw it.

Now, at the beginning of the year, the Prince was apprehensive about going alone to his class.  The ever protective Queen talked to the school counselor and the counselor arranged for a 5th grade girl to walk him to class.  This girl had a sister in kindergarten, Princess Madison we’ll call her, and the adjectives that describe her are “dignified, demure and reserved.”  From the first day, Princess Madison and the Prince held hands as they walked to their classes.  And most every day that year they did.

At the beginning of this year, the Prince and Princess Madison decided that they would walk together still.  Quote the Prince, “No, I can walk by myself, but I like walking with her.”  So off they go hand in hand every day as last year.

A couple of days ago, as the Prince and Princess Madison headed off to class, they passed by Princess Abbie who was on her way to breakfast.  Abbie turns and watches them walk a little ways and then turns back to me and says, “Why are they holding hands??  Do they like each other?”  She had her hands on her hips and looked pretty mad.

I was dumbfounded and had no idea what to say to her, “I don’t know, they do that every day.”

Her eyes narrowed and she looked like she was doing some kind of scary mental calculation as she turned back toward the cafeteria.  I fear for the Prince and his court.

E.W.

I said enlightening before, but I doubt it.  Interaction with our women is why I’m sure that if we ever meet an alien intelligence we’ll never figure out their language.  Men can’t figure out women’s language within the species…

2009 NFL Week 2 Picks

Getting Ready For Week 2 – Spring’s Picks

Even though the Eagles have probably lost McNabb for Sunday, I think overall they’re a great team that will pick up the slack with their 2nd string quarterback. I also hate going against SirEvil’s team, but I think the Panthers had their hats handed to them last Sunday and they’ll still be licking their wounds. Especially since they’re playing IN Atlanta. We’ll see how my thoughts pan out.

Week 2
Sun, Sep 20  Pick
HOU @ TEN  Tennessee
CAR @ ATL  Atlanta
MIN @ DET  Minnesota
ARI @ JAC  Jacksonville
OAK @ KC  Kansas City
NO @ PHI  Philadelphia
CIN @ GB  Green Bay
STL @ WAS   Washington
NE @ NYJ  New England
TB @ BUF  Tampa Bay
SEA @ SF  Seattle
BAL @ SD  Baltimore
PIT @ CHI  Pittsburgh
CLE @ DEN  Denver
NYG @ DAL  NY Giants
Mon, Sep 21
IND @ MIA  Indianapolis
This entry was posted on September 15, 2009, in Sports - NFL.

2009 NASCAR Rock-n-Roll 400 Weekend

This weekend Nascar held the Rock-n-Roll 400 at Richmond. And of course we were there. We had several memorable events over the 2 days.

Starting with Friday and the NNS Virginia 529 250.
We began our tailgating and promptly went shopping. On the way into the Fanway, we found the Scotts Bird Seed display. Complete with one of Carl Edwards back up cars. As we were taking pictures of the Prince in front of the car he asked if he could sit in it. The very kind gentleman monitoring the car snuck the kid into the seat and I quickly snapped a picture. It was very nice of the guy to let the Prince sit in the car, especially since he could have gotten in trouble for doing so. The kid of course was very excited and now wanted Carl to win the race.

True to his “voodoo child” form, Carl did win the race that night. In the same paint scheme as the one the Prince was allowed to sit in. His magical streak continues.

We also took a visit of the Sprint Corner, which came with a 3-D Nascar Driving Simulator Experience. Of course we had to try our hand at racing around Daytona. As the race started SirEvil in his #88 National Guard Chevy was winning. I was some where back in the pack in my #14 Office Depot Chevy. But I had a secret weapon. The Princely “voodoo child” who didn’t want to drive his own car, was standing behind ME. On lap 4 (5 laps total) someone bumped the #88 from behind and SirEvil lost control of the car. He hit the wall and spun out through the grass.

Although he got his car under control and finished the last lap, I came in 3rd, behind a phenomenal competitor in 1st and the computer in 2nd. SirEvil finished in 8th. Much like Jr.’s night on Saturday. Sadly.

The race was great, and though it would have been nice seeing Denny win the night; it wasn’t to be. Carl made a pass in the pits over Kevin Harvick and came out first after a late race caution. He held that lead and won the Nationwide Race at Richmond!  Woohoo.

We made it home in record time, getting in the door around 11:30pm. But we were back up at 7am and headed back to the track. We still got a great spot for Saturday’s tailgating. After Friday’s events we were content to put our feet up, grill and chill. We met some of our tailgating neighbors, laughed and shared stories and food. Later in the day we watched some of our neighbors play Ladder Ball.

But off in the distance, up the hill in the parking lot a group of 20somethings were also partying. Now these kids stand out because the guys, who were standing in the bed of the truck that was jacked up about 6ft off the ground were ..um.. HOT. One in particular very well built shirtless lad caught the attention of one of our neighbors playing Ladder Ball. And she was continually distracted when it was her turn.

At some point I made a comment she should get her camera. To which she responded “Yeah, go get my camera” to one of her friends. Oh now I just couldn’t let this opportunity go. I walked up the hill and petitioned the young man.

“There’s an elementary teacher down here who can’t take her eyes off of you. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to come on down and embarrass the hell out of her by having your picture taken with her?”

“Yes Ma’am” he replied and off the back of the truck he jumped. I discovered his name was Matt and he was from Virginia. As we walked back down the short distance to our tailgating homestead, sure enough our new little friend blushed every shade of red known to mankind. I introduced Matt to (today I can’t remember her name, we’ll call her Amy), and he promptly put his arm around her and posed for a picture. He was extremely gracious and a wonderfully good sport about the whole thing. Plus our little adventure boasted his “standing” with his friends, no doubt! After a few minutes his friends began calling him back. He gave me a hug, I said thanks and he wandered off up the hill.

We discovered later that Amy is going through a bad breakup/divorce and she has been under a lot of stress and depression as a result. Her friends came up to thank us, letting us know she needed that. I’ve learned now that I’m pushing 50, life is short and opportunities to have fun don’t always come around every day. Seize the day and have some fun!

So off we went to the race. After a bright sunny day, the race is delayed by a short shower. But thankfully it was short and we still had the race. Mark Martin had the pole, but he didn’t keep the lead for long. The night belonged to Virginia’s own Denny Hamlin. We’re so glad he won. He deserved it!  It would have been nice had Tony not gotten overly aggressive at the beginning of the race and gone 3 wide around turn 3. He ended up spinning and going a lap down from the get go, causing the 1st caution. Thankfully he came back and had a decent finish, ending the race in 17th.

The next big thing for us to watch was where Ryan Newman finished. He had to finish 16th or better to ensure a spot in the Chase. He constantly went down and up in the standings as his position changed on the track. I was worried for the little Prince, he would be so disappointed if his guy didn’t make it into the Chase. Thankfully, Ryan and crew pulled out a great finish, ending the race in 10th. Woohoo!

The last thing for us to watch was Brian Vickers and Kyle Busch. A few years ago we were bashing Vickers for being such a poor racer. He was continually hitting the wall or other cars, causing cautions and taking out our guys because he a wreck waiting to happen. Now here we are, years later, pulling for Vickers to make the Chase ahead of whiney Kyle. The points changed as quickly as their positions on the track changed. Kyle was in on one lap, and Brian was in on the next lap. They went back and forth the entire night. Until the last caution when Brian’s crew got him out in front of Kyle. Brian is in the Chase, Kyle is not. Karma will get you every time; I hope Kyle has learned that lesson now.

So our boys over all are split; 2 in and 2 out. Their standings from the “regular season”

Our Guy Points
Position
Total
Points
Points
Back
Tony 1st 3806
Ryan 9th 3272 -534
Joey 14th 2705 -1101
Dale Jr. 21st 2628 -1178

And now we move into the Chase with the point reset.

Rank Driver Points Behind
1 Mark Martin 5040 Leader
2 Tony Stewart 5030 -10
3 Jimmie Johnson 5030 -10
4 Denny Hamlin 5020 -20
5 Kasey Kahne 5020 -20
6 Jeff Gordon 5010 -30
7 Kurt Busch 5010 -30
8 Brian Vickers 5010 -30
9 Carl Edwards 5000 -40
10 Ryan Newman 5000 -40
11 Juan Montoya 5000 -40
12 Greg Biffle 5000 -40

I’m pulling for my Tony to be the next Owner/Driver to win a Championship. He can do it, he has the skills, talent and great team behind him to do it. So let’s go Tony!

2009 NFL Week 1 Picks / Results

Spring’s Week 1 Picks

SirEvil and I started a little competition over NFL picks. Here was my Week 1 picks. I won 12 of the 16 games played.

Week1
Thu Sep 10  Pick  Score
TEN @ PIT   Pittsburgh  W – 16 / 13 OT
Sun, Sep 13
JAC @ IND  Indianapolis  W – 12 / 14
DET @ NO  New Orleans  W – 27/ 45
PHI @ CAR  Carolina  L – 38 – 10
DAL @ TB  Tampa Bay  L – 34 / 21
NYJ @ HOU  NY Jets  W – 24 / 7
KC @ BAL  Baltimore  W – 24 / 38
DEN @ CIN  Denver  W – 12 / 7
MIN @ CLE  Minnesota  W – 34 / 20
MIA @ ATL  Atlanta  W – 7 / 19
WAS @ NYG  NY Giants  W – 17 / 23
SF @ ARI  Arizona  L – 20 / 16
STL @ SEA  St Louis  L – 0 / 28
CHI @ GB  Green Bay  W – 15 / 21
Mon, Sep 14
BUF @ NE  New England  W – 24 / 25
SD @ OAK  San Diego  W – 24 / 20
Results: W = 12 / L = 04 of 16
This entry was posted on September 15, 2009, in Sports - NFL.

Hot August Day

Not Many Trains

It gets pretty hot in Virginia in August. Thankfully our little Ashland Depot is covered by a beautiful shade tree that gives you a little respite from the sun in the afternoons. At least it helps while we wait for at least one train to go by.

CSX

CSX 5214

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© This material is the intellectual property of Author Springwolf
  © 2006-2012 Evilwordsmith.com. All Rights Reserved, Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D.

 

Consumer Spending

One of today’s big news stories is about Consumers not spending enough to help the economy. Hmm.

So it’s not enough that all our tax money bailed out wall street. It’s not enough that we lost our jobs, our houses, or 401k and retirement funds. It’s not enough that we’re struggling trying to squeak by on little to nothing (We don’t have credit cards, so don’t go there. We didn’t get ourselves in trouble in the first place).  It’s not enough that we don’t have the money to feed our children, buy their school supplies with little to no money in our pockets when the school systems should be supplying those items in the first place. It’s not enough that we don’t have the money to simply live.

Nope, on top of all that – we’re expected to go out shopping as if nothing has happened in our lives, and spend the money we don’t have from the job we lost last year or 2 years ago; just so the companies who stole from our pockets can thrive. Yeah..here’s what I think about that..
Fuck you.

This entry was posted on August 17, 2009, in Politics.

Stonewall Jackson Shrine

A Nice Location

Once great thing about Virginia is the richness of our history. While we typically drive south to watch the trains in Ashland, a little north of us you’ll find the Stonewall Jackson Shrine. Thomas Jonathan “StonewallJackson (January 21, 1824 – May 10, 1863) was a Confederate general during the American Civil War.

As Jackson and his staff were returning to camp on May 2, they were mistaken for a Union cavalry force by the 18th North Carolina Infantry regiment who shouted, “Halt, who goes there?”, but fired before evaluating the reply. During the unfortunate altercation Jackson was wounded. He was taken to Thomas C. Chandler’s 740 acres plantation named Fairfield. He was offered Chandler’s home for recovery, but refused and suggested the plantation office building would be better suited for his needs.

Today only the office building, where Jackson succumbed to pneumonia, still stands. It’s a great place to visit and a wonderful place to have a picnic on the east side of the rails.

20090718-01

Amtrak

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Those Pesky Nascar Sponsor Commercials

Being NASCAR fans we watch a lot of races on TV. And along with those races are a lot of commercials. And in a lot of those commercials are Nascar drivers who promote the sponsors of their teams. Now we’ve seen way too many of these commercials and in our irritation we occasionally come up with our own ideas for the drivers. Here’s a just a few.

Commercial 1: HomeDepot; Joey Logano and Greg Zipadelli (Zippy)

Joey sleeping in a pair of HomeDepot #20 fire suit jammies, wakes up to the sound of hammers and saw motors. He rushes out into his living room and finds Zippy and his crew remodeling his home.

Joey: “Zippy what are you doing?” he asks with a little trepidation in his voice.

Zippy: “Getting you a win at Pocono.”

Joey: “Zippy that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

Zippy: “That’s what I used to think.”

The commercial flips to the #20 HomeDepot crossing the finish line first. As an announcer says “HomeDepot getting things done”.

—–

In the 2009 Season Jeff Burton is sponsored by Caterpillar. Early in the season, his Caterpillar car plowed through the grass knocking up a good deal of sod onto the front splitter. The commercial starts by showing this slide as an announcer says “Caterpillar all our equipment can plow through anything”. The commercial flips to Burton in his fire suit as he says “Ok that’s just not funny” as his crew is standing behind him giggling.

Charlotte – May 23, 2009 / Coca Cola 600

NASCAR goes to Charlotte NC in May for two of their biggest races. The first is the All-Star Race. This year that occurred on May 16th, which was a very special night for me personally. My guy, Tony Stewart #14 (OfficeDepot/OldSpice/Chevy) crossed the line for his first win as an Owner/Driver. Only the 2nd guy to do this since the All-Star Race began.

The second big race, The Coca Cola 600 was scheduled to occur on May 24th. But between these two weekends Charlotte advertises the wazzoo out of these events calling this time as SpeedWeek! Culminating with a city celebration in the streets of downtown Charlotte which they call SpeedStreet! Food, fun and come meet NASCAR drivers.

Ok, so I’ve never been to SpeedStreet. We’re going to Charlotte for a family wedding which will give us a chance to attend the festivities. The three of us don our favorite driver T-shirts. SirEvil wearing his #88 National Guard shirt for Jr. I grabbed my Tony #14 shirt, and the little kid is wearing his brown Army #39 Ryan shirt. We topped that off with our matching straw Nascar hats, with our event and driver pins stuck all over them. I’m looking forward to party and excited to go…… Until we actually get there.

Where were the Driver booths and merchandise? We walked to every corner, nook, an section of “speedstreet” and all we saw were Sponsor booths, giving away free stuff. The little kid (who is about to turn 6) was run over 3 times by the rudest people trying to grab the free stuff. A very large black woman knocked him to the ground and about stepped on him just so she could grab 2 boxes of free Reynolds wrap. All we were trying to do is look at the cup car sitting next to the free wrap. You know…enjoy the real reason for this party in the first place, the cars, the drivers, the fan excitement! I was SO pissed!

We walked down a big hill to a section where we were told the merchandise trailers were. The “official” guide didn’t have a clue what we were talking about, because there was nothing in that section except a Chevy display, Jr.’s car and a few games for kids. Back up the hill to the one and only merchandise booth we saw. I walk up to the table and say to the sales guy “I’m looking for a Tony 1st win shirt”. His response? “Tony who?”. WHAT?! I step back, point to the shirt I”M WEARING and reply “Tony who?”. A sales guy next to him says “I thought it was a 1st win for all of them”. The 1st sales guy says “We have other shirts for him” pointing to my shirt. I answered “I wouldn’t buy dog shit from you now.” and walked away.

First rule of sales “Know your audience!”. I was so disgusted with the entire atmosphere and attitude of not only the organizers, and some of the booth workers, but of the attendees as well. Decked out in all our NASCAR gear, we saw (and yes I counted) only 23 other people with race shirts. I walked up  to one guy, shook his hand and said you’re one of the only other people we’ve seen who is wearing a driver shirt. And then we left.

I don’t want to make it sound like we didn’t see and talk to some nice people. We did. But they were few and far between. The most disappointing part of the entire experience was what wasn’t there! Never again will we go back. What a waste of time.

The Nascar All-Star Race – A litte history

Sunday night Nascar held one of it’s premier races, known today as the All-Star Race. While the race has gone through many names (4 to be exact), it has a great deal of history from its venue to its winners. Here’s a few facts about the race that might interest Nascar fans.

– The All-Star raced stared in 1985 when it was known simply as “The Winston”, after Nascar’s sponsor Winston cigarettes.
– It has always been held at Charlotte/Lowes Motor Speedway, with the exception of the 2nd race which was held at Atlanta Motor Speedway.
– The driver to win the first race in the series was Darrell Waltrip for Junior Johnson Racing.
– One of our household favorites, Dale Jr. won in 2000 his rookie year,
– Another favorite Ryan Newman won in 2002
– And my most favorite Tony Stewart won in 2009

Now for the Most, Fastest, Slowest and Winning-est
– Most wins go to Dale Sr  and Jeff Gordon with 3 wins each
– Mark Martin, Jimmy Johnson and Davey Allison have each won 2 times
– Davey Allison is the only driver to hold back to back wins

– In 1985 Darrell’s prize was $20k, the 2nd race won by Bill Elliott gave him a purse of $240k
– The purse prize has floated back and forth between $200 and $300k for most of it’s history.
– It hit 500k in 2000 when Dale Jr. won the prize
– It slowly increased over the next 2 years and hit $1 million in 2003. Jimmy Johnson took that home. Officially he won $1,017,604, Tony’s purse in 2009 was $1,033,656.
– The highest purse to date was $1,101,325 taken home by Mark Martin on his 2nd time winning the all star race

– The highest average speed for an All-Star race was 185mph, in 2001. Jeff Gordon won that race.
– The slowest race was in 2007, 89mph (geez..was the whole thing under caution?) Kevin Harvick took that trophy.

– Chevy has 14 wins, Ford 9, Dodge and Pontiac 1 a piece
– The winning-est team, no surprise here, Hendrick with 6 wins. Roush and Childress have 3 each.
– Geoff Bodine Racing (1994) and Stewart-Hass Racing (2009) are the only owner/driver teams to have won the All-Star race.

– Conspicuously missing from the list, Joe Gibbs Racing and Toyota.