…And the ones for the Hall of Fame game and the first three preseason weeks. I know what you’re thinking, “Yeah, sure, you’re picking the games AFTER they played…” If you will look at the data, I think my honesty speaks for itself… Ugh, I sure hope these results are because all the coaches finally took my advice and are keeping their starters bubble wrapped safely in the locker room and fielding anybody they think might be a diamond in the rough.
Seriously, if I was a coach, my starters might go out there for 3 or 4 plays with these instructions: If you think that you might break a nail, DROP THE BALL; we ain’t playing for money here. After that, I’d have the Mom of the kid from the hotdog stand, you know, Doris “The Pocket” Tidwell, as left tackle, the peanut tosser would be snapping the ball and the hotdog kid himself would be the QB. My receiver would be that kid I saw outrun the police car in the mall parking lot. “Hey kid… do you think you could catch a football while you’re running like that?” The water boy would be wide right…
I don’t know what the rules are about bringing 9 to 12 hundred potential players to the game, but I figure if you sift through that many wannabe football players you might find that diamond. You know the kid you send out, “Ok I don’t care about accuracy I just wanna see how far you can throw,” that comes back, “Um, I’m sorry coach. I’ll go run out there in the parking lot and find that ball…”
“That’s ok kid, we’ll get another ball… um… what’s your name?”